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Just Being Real

2Ti 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


I read this verse today. And thought of child birth. After all, I am 30 weeks pregnant.
Fear is not of God. But power, love and a sound mind is of the Lord.
It's almost like thinking about the pain of prophesied crisis, or future end times tribulation, or martyrdom. Expected pain.

I went to get my blood drawn today. I HATE getting my blood drawn. I think because you are sitting there waiting on the pain to come, expecting the pain and then bam! They stick you with a needle to draw blood, and you look away and bear it, gritting your teeth until you are done and have given enough blood. Expected pain.

I don't like pain. I guess I don't know anyone who does. But it's the expected pain... or more so, the expectation itself of that pain that seems painful.

I suppose when it boils down to it - it is truly a fear of the pain to come.
But God has not given us a spirit of fear. Fear is not of the Lord. Not a fear of pain anyways. Not a fear of the unknown.

It reminds me of a Misty Edwards song.... (excerpt from Fling Wide)

"I won’t be afraid
I will face the wind
I won’t be afraid
I'll embrace the flame"

I refuse to be bound by fear. Fear of pain and fear of the unknown. I wait in earnest expectation of the glorious things to follow those things my flesh wants to fear. I know God will give me power, love and a sound mind in labor. I know on the other side, I will have a beautiful, healthy, baby boy. I know on the other side of crisis, tribulation, and even martyrdom - there is a glorious reward and in the midst of it - God will see me through.
Jesus lived a life - knowing pain would be coming. I wonder if he fought the fear of expected pain. But I know he was victorious over the temptation. He didn't sin. And he invites us into the "fellowship of suffering." To embrace the suffering before us, looking forward to the glorious redemption of what lies on the other side of that pain. Beauty.

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