First, to the woman who has never experienced motherhood, or if that
experience was way too short, please know this: You are no less of a
woman. You are a beautiful, unique individual just like women
everywhere. We all have things that we have learned along the way. Life
brings us so many different experiences regardless of if that path
includes mothering. Joys... aches... grief... surprises, both good and
bad... skills acquired... people to love, etc. We all have a journey. We
all have a story. And we all can use our lessons to help others learn
they aren’t alone in the journey. But I would like to say this, if you
are not a mother and wish to be, or have had miscarriages or problems
getting pregnant, and you would like prayer for that area, please
message me. I would love to join you on your journey and pray for you.
You aren’t forgotten.
Now.
What I have learned seven years into mothering.
I learned that birth plans are great but the most important thing is that mom and baby (and dad) are okay.
I learned the pain scale on 1-10 that they ask you about in the hospital can be redefined. It’s pretty subjective actually.
I learned that it’s okay to be so exhausted after 33 hours of labor that you smile at how cute your son is once he arrived, and instead of having a hallmark moment, you ask for a drink of water instead. It’s okay.
I learned that sometimes in life, there is purpose in the torture. That was when my son was brought home for the first time from the hospital and he was screaming the entire time. I told him that lesson. He was a couple days old.
I learned motherhood can be extremely isolating, even if you’re around a lot of people.
I learned not all babies eat every three hours. Some eat every two hours. Or every hour. Oh. My. Gosh.
I learned that tiny humans who are growing crazy fast eat a lot.
I learned that I could let someone else take my baby for an hour or two so I could do music in church. And even if he was crying. I knew he’d live and be okay.
I learned there’s nothing like the knowing, tired nod from a fellow mom who didn’t sleep last night either. She gets it.
I learned that a baby can scream his head off like he’s dying even when he isn’t going to die. He just thinks he is.
I learned that I am not defined by crossing things off my list.
I learned to try to be thankful in the little things to prevent me from becoming cynical and angry. Momming is hard.
I learned it’s very difficult to get anything done when your baby doesn’t nap for more than 30 minutes.
I learned nursing is really hard. But it’s also glorious, cheap, and way easier the older your baby gets.
I learned that parents will make up obnoxious noises and songs to try to get their baby to stop crying. Try jazz and opera genres. It worked for ours.
I learned that finding your identity in what you can contribute does not work with a baby on your hip. But realizing you’re a guardian of a secret weapon that will grow up to be a world changer will help you in the years that said baby is being held on your hip.
I learned that there is such a thing as super tasters. I learned this because my pediatrician was impressed at the early age of my picky eaters.
I learned to pray. A lot. It became what kept me sane.
I learned it looks funny when a 9 month old is walking.
I learned the earlier you identify a strong will in your child, the bigger that strong will probably is. If you know your child is strong willed before 9 months old, watch out.
I learned I was wrong when I thought I had patience before having a child. Again, some things get redefined and they are relative.
I learned being a mom to an active boy is something that only other moms of active boys will ever understand. But I get ya, girl.
I learned kids can understand what you’re saying long before they can say the words back.
I learned that boy moms say things like “Go put that in the weapons drawer.” And “How many times have a told you, no weapons at the table.”
I learned to catch things in mid-air like a ninja.
I learned that nothing can prepare you for the ache in your heart when the pregnancy test you take a week or two after you celebrate with your spouse is no longer positive.
I learned crying is allowed at all hours of the night and at any time during the day. Hormones, y’all. In those early years of motherhood, they are chaos.
I learned finding out you’re pregnant after any type of miscarriage is the most wonderful and terrifying moment all at the same time. It’s okay to hope again.
I learned the first trimester of any pregnancy involved celebration, holding your breath, and praying to get into better chances of not miscarrying.
I learned pregnancy while being a stay at home mom to an active toddler is exhaustion on steroids.
I learned if I held my son’s hand and drove around town, he’d fall asleep for a nap. Yep. Me in driver’s seat and him diagonal behind me. How’s that for an uncomfortable arm. But oh the victory when he’d fall asleep. Silence.
I learned sometimes when you’re a pregnant mom to a toddler, the best option is go into a kid-proof room, close the door, and lay down and doze in and out while the said toddler crawls all over you.
I learned that sometimes it’s scary to wonder if you’ll be able to love another child as much as you love your first. And I also learned that love just keeps coming. It’s not a finite measure. There’s enough to go around. I learned I could love my second just as much.
I learned that sometimes kids say things they don’t mean.
I learned that being a mom to a newborn and toddler is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I’m convinced it’s one of the hardest stages of parenting.
I learned when your kid is big for his age, it makes changing his diaper in public restrooms a pain. They don’t exactly make diaper changing stations for oversized toddlers.
I learned that I hate potty training more than teething. Really. It’s that bad.
I learned that I couldn’t let up on my strong willed kid just because I had a newborn. I had to work with him on obeying even with another baby in my lap.
I learned a kid can come up with a logical argument to counter your reason at an earlier age than you think.
I learned my son could run full speed ahead and then slam on his brakes to come to a complete stop just to kiss his baby sister.
I also learned my heart could stop and then start again, once it freaked out and then melted.
I learned that it’s possible to fall asleep while sitting in an upright position when you’re not wanting to go to sleep.
I learned that my son could make my baby daughter laugh harder than my husband or I could. Siblings are special.
I learned how to let go and let my husband teach my son how to be a warrior, and allow their adventurous spirits soar. I’m still learning this. I’d keep him in a bubble if I could.
I learned how to make costumes out of sheets and construction paper, to satisfy the whims of my three year kid’s creativity.
I learned how to deal with a little girl’s curly hair. Mine is straight.
Now.
What I have learned seven years into mothering.
I learned that birth plans are great but the most important thing is that mom and baby (and dad) are okay.
I learned the pain scale on 1-10 that they ask you about in the hospital can be redefined. It’s pretty subjective actually.
I learned that it’s okay to be so exhausted after 33 hours of labor that you smile at how cute your son is once he arrived, and instead of having a hallmark moment, you ask for a drink of water instead. It’s okay.
I learned that sometimes in life, there is purpose in the torture. That was when my son was brought home for the first time from the hospital and he was screaming the entire time. I told him that lesson. He was a couple days old.
I learned motherhood can be extremely isolating, even if you’re around a lot of people.
I learned not all babies eat every three hours. Some eat every two hours. Or every hour. Oh. My. Gosh.
I learned that tiny humans who are growing crazy fast eat a lot.
I learned that I could let someone else take my baby for an hour or two so I could do music in church. And even if he was crying. I knew he’d live and be okay.
I learned there’s nothing like the knowing, tired nod from a fellow mom who didn’t sleep last night either. She gets it.
I learned that a baby can scream his head off like he’s dying even when he isn’t going to die. He just thinks he is.
I learned that I am not defined by crossing things off my list.
I learned to try to be thankful in the little things to prevent me from becoming cynical and angry. Momming is hard.
I learned it’s very difficult to get anything done when your baby doesn’t nap for more than 30 minutes.
I learned nursing is really hard. But it’s also glorious, cheap, and way easier the older your baby gets.
I learned that parents will make up obnoxious noises and songs to try to get their baby to stop crying. Try jazz and opera genres. It worked for ours.
I learned that finding your identity in what you can contribute does not work with a baby on your hip. But realizing you’re a guardian of a secret weapon that will grow up to be a world changer will help you in the years that said baby is being held on your hip.
I learned that there is such a thing as super tasters. I learned this because my pediatrician was impressed at the early age of my picky eaters.
I learned to pray. A lot. It became what kept me sane.
I learned it looks funny when a 9 month old is walking.
I learned the earlier you identify a strong will in your child, the bigger that strong will probably is. If you know your child is strong willed before 9 months old, watch out.
I learned I was wrong when I thought I had patience before having a child. Again, some things get redefined and they are relative.
I learned being a mom to an active boy is something that only other moms of active boys will ever understand. But I get ya, girl.
I learned kids can understand what you’re saying long before they can say the words back.
I learned that boy moms say things like “Go put that in the weapons drawer.” And “How many times have a told you, no weapons at the table.”
I learned to catch things in mid-air like a ninja.
I learned that nothing can prepare you for the ache in your heart when the pregnancy test you take a week or two after you celebrate with your spouse is no longer positive.
I learned crying is allowed at all hours of the night and at any time during the day. Hormones, y’all. In those early years of motherhood, they are chaos.
I learned finding out you’re pregnant after any type of miscarriage is the most wonderful and terrifying moment all at the same time. It’s okay to hope again.
I learned the first trimester of any pregnancy involved celebration, holding your breath, and praying to get into better chances of not miscarrying.
I learned pregnancy while being a stay at home mom to an active toddler is exhaustion on steroids.
I learned if I held my son’s hand and drove around town, he’d fall asleep for a nap. Yep. Me in driver’s seat and him diagonal behind me. How’s that for an uncomfortable arm. But oh the victory when he’d fall asleep. Silence.
I learned sometimes when you’re a pregnant mom to a toddler, the best option is go into a kid-proof room, close the door, and lay down and doze in and out while the said toddler crawls all over you.
I learned that sometimes it’s scary to wonder if you’ll be able to love another child as much as you love your first. And I also learned that love just keeps coming. It’s not a finite measure. There’s enough to go around. I learned I could love my second just as much.
I learned that sometimes kids say things they don’t mean.
I learned that being a mom to a newborn and toddler is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I’m convinced it’s one of the hardest stages of parenting.
I learned when your kid is big for his age, it makes changing his diaper in public restrooms a pain. They don’t exactly make diaper changing stations for oversized toddlers.
I learned that I hate potty training more than teething. Really. It’s that bad.
I learned that I couldn’t let up on my strong willed kid just because I had a newborn. I had to work with him on obeying even with another baby in my lap.
I learned a kid can come up with a logical argument to counter your reason at an earlier age than you think.
I learned my son could run full speed ahead and then slam on his brakes to come to a complete stop just to kiss his baby sister.
I also learned my heart could stop and then start again, once it freaked out and then melted.
I learned that it’s possible to fall asleep while sitting in an upright position when you’re not wanting to go to sleep.
I learned that my son could make my baby daughter laugh harder than my husband or I could. Siblings are special.
I learned how to let go and let my husband teach my son how to be a warrior, and allow their adventurous spirits soar. I’m still learning this. I’d keep him in a bubble if I could.
I learned how to make costumes out of sheets and construction paper, to satisfy the whims of my three year kid’s creativity.
I learned how to deal with a little girl’s curly hair. Mine is straight.
I learned it's okay to go to the gym to have an hour of adult time and try to be a stronger, healthier mom.
I learned that having your kids reach an age where you can trust the older to keep an eye on the younger, even for a moment, is magical.
I learned how many times I say certain words when my kids started saying those words too.
I learned how hilarious and weird it is to “raise” your spouse or in-law or parent because your child is so much like one of them.
I learned that I could get moments of silence by going for a drive with a Starbucks in hand by driving to put my baby to sleep and giving my son a tablet to watch a show as he sat beside her.
I learned that it feels like I have been feeding my son non-stop for 7 years, and I have a feeling that’s only begun.
I learned to appreciate naps. I hated them before my first pregnancy.
I learned the fear and nerves that come with putting your kid in a class without you for the first time.
I learned why sleep deprivation is a torture technique.
I learned hearing children pray is one of the best things in the world.
I learned kids laughing is another one of the best things in the world.
I learned kids being quiet is either very good or very bad.
I learned being a stay at home mom is really hard.
I learned being a part time working mom is really hard.
I learned being a full time working mom is really hard.
I learned motherhood is often exhausting, daunting, terrifying, and magical. It’s rewarding and often feels monotonous. Doing the same routines feel like they will drive you into the ground, but Lord help us if the schedule of the day changes nap time. We love our routines and hate our routines. We laugh at the cute things our kids say, and cry over the things we know they didn’t mean to hurt us with. We pray to God that they will turn out as good human beings, as we struggle through the days. And every so often, our kids do things that give us rays of hope that they are learning, that they are listening, and that they are learning to love.
I have learned that motherhood will teach you a lot if you’ll take time to listen.
I learned that having your kids reach an age where you can trust the older to keep an eye on the younger, even for a moment, is magical.
I learned how many times I say certain words when my kids started saying those words too.
I learned how hilarious and weird it is to “raise” your spouse or in-law or parent because your child is so much like one of them.
I learned that I could get moments of silence by going for a drive with a Starbucks in hand by driving to put my baby to sleep and giving my son a tablet to watch a show as he sat beside her.
I learned that it feels like I have been feeding my son non-stop for 7 years, and I have a feeling that’s only begun.
I learned to appreciate naps. I hated them before my first pregnancy.
I learned the fear and nerves that come with putting your kid in a class without you for the first time.
I learned why sleep deprivation is a torture technique.
I learned hearing children pray is one of the best things in the world.
I learned kids laughing is another one of the best things in the world.
I learned kids being quiet is either very good or very bad.
I learned being a stay at home mom is really hard.
I learned being a part time working mom is really hard.
I learned being a full time working mom is really hard.
I learned motherhood is often exhausting, daunting, terrifying, and magical. It’s rewarding and often feels monotonous. Doing the same routines feel like they will drive you into the ground, but Lord help us if the schedule of the day changes nap time. We love our routines and hate our routines. We laugh at the cute things our kids say, and cry over the things we know they didn’t mean to hurt us with. We pray to God that they will turn out as good human beings, as we struggle through the days. And every so often, our kids do things that give us rays of hope that they are learning, that they are listening, and that they are learning to love.
I have learned that motherhood will teach you a lot if you’ll take time to listen.
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