I sat in the rocking chair, trying to rock her to sleep. My three year old was beyond grumpy and belligerent (as much as the family angel can be), and she was in desperate need of a nap. I was holding her in my lap, and as I rocked her, she decided she didn’t want me to touch her. She didn’t want my arms around her like I normally hold her, so I moved my arms, trying hard to balance her on my lap but still give her the freedom to refuse my embrace. I waited a minute and then tried to put my arms around her again. She pushed me away again. I was smiling just because I knew it was evident of how grumpy she was being. I knew she wanted me to hold her and I knew as soon as she got tired enough, I would be able to put my arms around her. Another minute passed and she didn’t care anymore. She let me hold her and wrap my arms around her.
As I kept rocking her, I realized we do that to God a lot. He’s holding us and loving us and then one moment, we decide we want to be independent and want His hands off. He lets go, and allows us to exert our independence, and all the while, He is just wanting to love us. He wants to be actively engaged in our lives. It hurts His heart when we push Him away, and yet He sits... waiting... periodically trying again...seeing if this is the moment that we will receive His love. Some keep pushing Him away more than others. Like my little girl, a lot of us will finally receive His love when we get tired of fighting and allow Him to wrap His arms around us again.
There is nothing more fulfilling and incredible than resting in God’s love.
Romans 5:7-8
7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
A love so deep that He paid the penalty for sin, death. A love so deep that recognized our sin would keep us separate from His holiness, so He gave His son to pay the price so we could receive His love and be with Him. A love so deep that nothing can tear us away from it.
Romans 8:38-39
38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
But you have to receive it. You can’t keep pushing Him away.
Luke 18:16-17
16 But Jesus called them to Him and said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 17 "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."
Don’t keep fighting it. Give into His love. Don’t keep pushing Him away. Lean into it and allow Him to hold you. If you even feel the need to lay back and have a good cry and tell Him how you feel, do it. He is waiting to love you. He HAS BEEN waiting to love you. Let Him. What a prayer it would be to say, “God, I want to receive Your love. And teach me to love you back.”
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